Embrace.Love.Strengthen.Laugh

Challenge accepted!

I think that even when you personally go through a huge trial in your life and you learn so much from it, somehow down the road you lose that personal touch with it and begin to forget what you learned. I so desperately hope that I never lose that connection with my past. A lot of people say your past is your past and it should be something you don't dwell on and to a point...I do agree. However, I feel that you have to keep hold of it so as to remember what you lost, gained, and what you have now in hopes that you won't repeat some of those mistakes and that you'll keep what was dearest to you in your heart forever.

End of deep emotional thoughts here.

I took my Kenzie out for some one on one time together because I've missed her so much. Somehow in the past months I've ceased to realize how important it is to spend one on one time with those you love dearly. I took her bowling, out for pizza, and then we did some skateboarding. She taught me some incredible moves! I'm old and I can't move as swiftly and quick as she can so she put me to shame but at least my board was cooler than hers! :P It was so nice to be able to just be with her and talk, I miss that special time with her.

I haven't read my last two posts in a long while and I didn't even before I started writing this. I'm not sure of everything that I've talked about but it's best to write on what's present and ahead than what's in the past.

Winter camp was amazing as usual and like anything that huge in SL that takes place there was moments of drama, issues, and fighting. However, I feel the majority of my experience was renewing, exciting, and rekindling of friendships. I got to spend a lot of time with my babies... I call them my babies for many reasons but mainly cause they are incredibly special to me.

As many of you know SL's time frame is incredibly different than the natural laws of RL's time. A day is a week and a week a month and a month a year. It's a very speedy moment in time and things can flourish in a matter of seconds. Right before camp I was blessed with my daughter Kaitlyn Faith. She had pulled a huge surprise for me and asked if I'd be her mommy, which was what I had been waiting for. She knew already how I felt for her heart. We are going on our 3 months together and it's truly been amazing. She keeps me on my toes and though irritations sets in for us both from time to time, we always work everything out together, as family should do.

I'm floored at how amazing my life has been this past week. I'm so blessed to be able to confront the pain of others, extend my heart to them with the sincerest apologies, and them openly love me as they once did. I know that when a lot of hurt is given to those you love not only once but several times it is hard for them to be able to give you much, if anything at all. I think that is the thinking of people who give up to easily and do not allow the time to those they care for to heal and to process. I won't give up. I realize that with all the people that love me and care for me deeply there are still those who are going through a lot of heartache.

One in particular that I miss so much, when I think of the pain I've given her I just bleed tears in my heart. I hope that one day she will want to talk with me so that I can explain things, not that they are excuses for my behavior or reasons...just a simple explanation. At this point I can only wish upon a star that she will one day have me as friend again.

I'm really bad with this stuff because I have all the intentions of the world to keep a blog going for myself and it always fails. But since I am starting everything new for my life I figured I should also start new with this blog. I don't really know what all this blog will consist of but I do know that it will be on whatever I want to share with the world. I hope it's more revealing for myself than anything because I'm discovering myself all over again and I'm also taking the person that was once inside of me and letting her shine for once. I miss her.